Blogcest Take 2!

Chris just had to go and mention Adventures of Superman #549.

In that issue, aside from the Dingbats/Newsboy Legion/Green Team plotline, Boss Moxie has Torcher send a message to Lois Lane by setting fire to her apartment building. Lori Lemaris drops by just as it starts, and as she and Lois (and of course, Electric Blue Superman) lead the evacuation, she checks on another tenant's apartment, saying:


Click on that to see what my brain compelled me to do.

Just when I thought I was out...

I blame my library for carrying 300 in the first place.

Well I didn't know.

George Takei in cooler than Anderson Cooper shocker! (via)

I may have heard rumors at some point, but my memory ain't so good.

Star Trek VI has always (well, since it came out (fnur fnur)) been my favorite of the Star Trek movies, and part of that was seeing Sulu as a Captain.

Mr. Takei, I say to you: Excelsior!

ViGaBlah

I'm getting close to the end of X-Men Legends II, so I should be able to think of clever things again soon. I know I'm near the end because I just unlocked Iron Man, in a sequence that included the following conversation:

Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony Stark: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: It had something to do with a beautiful woman, didn't it?
Tony Stark: Oh yeah. And you know what - she was almost worth getting caught for.

I'm not too well-versed in Iron Man's history, but I did a double-take at that. I think it should have gone a little more like this (some passages ripped off directly from Augusten Burroughs' Dry):

Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: He got you drunk?
Tony: No, it was a woman. I honestly have cut way back on the drinking.
Iceman: We found your armor. It smelled like a fucking distillery.
Tony: Is this about being late to that team-up yesterday?
Storm: We feel that it would be in your best interest for you to admit yourself into a treatment center.

Or maybe:

Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony Stark: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: He punched your liver?
Tony Stark: Twice. Bastard.

Where am I?

Playing X-Men Legends II, mostly. Wolvie says back off:


Haha. Because it's like a finger. Clever.

XML3 should include Kitty Pryde, Pete Wisdom, and an unlockable GTA-like mutant-humping mini-game.

And I've just grossed myself out.

Things like this make me wish I'd started reading postmodernbarney.com much earlier:

Steer him clear of Swamp Thing, for example. He'll have no idea who Alan Moore is and will only remember the terrible, terrible movies. Likewise, don't hand him Sandman. You're gay, not a goth. Don't hand him Preacher because he'll think you're a serial killer.

Though it has little to do with comics (other than maybe Warren Ellis' occasional use of urban legends), every now and then, someone will say something that makes me think of this, my favorite urban legend ever, and I'll start smiling for no reason:

These so called "chickens" are kept alive by tubes inserted into their bodies to pump blood and nutrients throughout their structure. They have no beaks, no feathers, and no feet. Their bone structure is dramatically shrunk to get more meat out of them.

They're sort of like mutants, right? X-Chickens! Here's where I'd normally find a picture of a chicken and edit it into the above picture, flipping the proverbial bird, but I couldn't find a good one, and I have a game to play.

Back in ages past...

Though I already had some awareness of Ricky Jay, it wasn't until his appearances on Mythbusters and Deadwood that I really got interested in him. I've since read his Learned Pigs & Fireproof Women, Jay's Journal of Anomalies, Dice: Deception, Fate, and Rotten Luck, and (thanks to the internet) Cards As Weapons.

It's the last one that brings me to Peter David's Madrox #3. In this particular issue of that excellent miniseries, Madrox is handcuffed and locked in a supply closet. Because a copy would still have the handcuffs on (thus spawning the Jamie Madrox Handcuff Duplication Corporation), he has to escape by other means. Fortunately:


So he gets out of the handcuffs. Now, Ricky Jay isn't an escape artist, so I thought there must be some reason to mention him. After Madrox manages to spawn a copy on the other side of the door, he gets into an argument with the copy. The thug-guards down the hall, who had been playing cards, overhear them and come to investigate, one of them still holding the deck of cards:


That's where my brain went all, "Oh no he di-int!" The thugs hear Jamie still in the closet, and the one with the cards opens the door. Jamie knocks him down, knocking the cards free:


He catches a card:


And:


Fuck yeah!

Okay, he killed a guy, but he wasn't terribly thrilled about it, so he's not about to turn into The Punisher With Some Cards.

Thank you, Peter David, for your gentle stroking of my (if you will) Jay-Spot.


(The title of this entry was taken from the Crash Test Dummies' Sonnet 2 (And Back in Ages Past) which coincidentally enough also includes the line, "The brutal rampaged on their bloody way." Godspeed, fair Rampage.)

I'd buy three copies.

The last one, for reals.

Chris got to Catman before me, which leaves me with only one thing to do:


Seriously, I don't know. Here's hoping #3 brings us something new and exciting to run into the ground.

I barely get this.

(I should really stop saying that I'd kill for various things. I'd probably only bruise or nick for them. I intended to title my last entry Blogcest, but I forgot that by the time I finished.)

Anyway, I made a thing:


And yes, I know it would make more sense for Batman to be Ortho.

I'd kill for a Volito.

(With apologies to everyone involved.)

Spencer doesn't like the cover to Gotham Central 36.

Yeah, that's lame. Maybe a picture of Batman in some dead end alley with headlights on him, hiding behind his cape, ready to shot a Bat-Grappling Gun up to unknown gothic statue off panel while police look on. Or even better: have some people eating at a cafe, with one person pointing to the sky with their fork where you can see Batman swinging between buildings, saying "Isn't that the Batman?" while the other person replies with "Yes. Isn't he WANTED FOR MURDER?!?!" with that last part in some super actiony intense looking speech balloon. That would have been good.

Would it have? Let's find out!


I guess that's a yes.

The Greatest Burn in Comics

So you've discorporated, and the girl you liked is dead.

You manage to coalesce into a more or less solid form again, and you learn of her death.

You dig up her body and carry her around for a while, until you meet up with the Phoenix.

She gets brought back to life:

She realizes you're the one responsible, but because you're gross, she decides to drop dead rather than go on living:

Oh, and her sisters call you a dorkus.

This is why X-Men: Phoenix - Endsong #5 contains the greatest burn to ever appear in comics.

On my lack of focus.

Typo Lad has stupid comic panels. Scott and the Suspension of Disbelief people know about actual things and apply that knowledge to comics. Dave has a totally Airwolf collection. Kevin has photo-comics, Genius Covers Sundays, the occasional comics remix, and The Thing That Was Once Known As Shit That's Killing Comics. Comics Should Be Good has a sort of Polyphonic Spree thing going for it.

I have a bunch of random crap that's either tedious or trying to be funny.

I enjoyed making my comics premix (which was for a photoshop thing on another site, so it's hardly original), but that sort of thing is an awful lot like Kyle's movie poster reviews, and Kevin's done a couple of premixes as well. Interior page remixes are usually more fun, anyway.

I've also done the occasional insupportable hypothesis (or four) and hardcore geekstatporn, but those are hard to come by, and they kind of make me hate myself.

The name of this page came from my juvenile giggling over Wanda's universe-altering (and comic-narrating) vagina, but that series has stalled out, and I haven't seen anything else like that Donna Troy page since.

So until I think of something better, I remain unfocused, existing solely to amuse myself. And to give me something to stick in the URL space when commenting on others' blogs.