I'm getting close to the end of X-Men Legends II, so I should be able to think of clever things again soon. I know I'm near the end because I just unlocked Iron Man, in a sequence that included the following conversation:
Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony Stark: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: It had something to do with a beautiful woman, didn't it?
Tony Stark: Oh yeah. And you know what - she was almost worth getting caught for.
I'm not too well-versed in Iron Man's history, but I did a double-take at that. I think it should have gone a little more like this (some passages ripped off directly from Augusten Burroughs' Dry):
Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: He got you drunk?
Tony: No, it was a woman. I honestly have cut way back on the drinking.
Iceman: We found your armor. It smelled like a fucking distillery.
Tony: Is this about being late to that team-up yesterday?
Storm: We feel that it would be in your best interest for you to admit yourself into a treatment center.
Or maybe:
Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony Stark: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: He punched your liver?
Tony Stark: Twice. Bastard.
|