The House of L

I am weak.

2008-06-20T02:17:00.004-04:00

All Star Blankets #9

2008-02-28T13:52:00.003-05:00

Topical!

2008-02-21T23:59:00.002-05:00

(Source.)

Resurrection Man #27

2008-02-17T15:04:00.003-05:00

In the previous issue, a meteor struck Antarctica, creating an area of warped reality. Many heroes came to check it out for some reason, but only Vandal Savage, Immortal Man, and Mitch Shelley are immune.

In this issue, they come across one casualty:

And here's the original/blank:

The Comics Internet

2008-02-07T13:18:00.000-05:00

Now that we know Professor X has his own top-level domain, can somebody give Superman .el and Wolverine .bub? Please?

Hey Guy Who's Getting Shot!

2008-02-05T13:54:00.000-05:00

Who's your favorite Sergio Aragonés character?

Resurrection Man #14, Abnett & Lanning

Brian K. Vaughan is a sexy, sexy man.

2008-02-01T02:18:00.001-05:00

I'm probably the last person to weigh in on Mr. Vaughan's sprawling masterpiece, but I feel that it must be said:

Mystique #2, Vaughan & Lucas

Mystique was pretty fucking awesome.

I'm a walking disaster, I'm a Resurrection Man

2008-01-31T01:35:00.000-05:00

Resurrection Man #4, Abnett & Lanning

Upcoming Entries

2008-01-30T01:33:00.000-05:00

Countdown: Arena: The Best Non-Fiction Comic Since Persepolis

Brian K. Vaughan Is A Sexy, Sexy Man, And I'm Not Just Saying That Because I Think I Look A Little Bit Like Him

The 10 Best Indicia Of All Time

Friday Night Mutual Respect

The Visibility Of Wheat Allergies In Superhero Comics

Jeffrey Brown Hates Robots

The SLEET Campaign For The Return Of Slobo

This monkey's gone to heaven.

2008-01-29T13:22:00.000-05:00

The Filth almost seems like the work of some British Isles-spanning three-headed amalgamation of Morrison, Ennis, and Ellis. It's strange that something so gloriously filthy mostly just made me want to hug my kitty.

The problem with Angel: After the Fall

2007-11-23T17:55:00.000-05:00

Every time I see that title, I get this song stuck in my head:

Now I know what you're thinking.

2007-10-12T03:18:00.000-04:00

Uatu, where did you get two hundred and forty dollars?

Don't worry your pretty little head about it, baby.

It ain't your concern.

On Television

2007-09-26T03:45:00.000-04:00

Heroes so accurately reflects the superhero genre that people who hate it watch it just so they can complain about it on the internet.

Hey Bruce, I think that's too big.

2007-08-01T18:23:00.000-04:00

In the past...

2007-07-29T01:05:00.000-04:00

Uatu watched.

In the future...

2007-06-29T05:19:00.001-04:00

... it will finally be possible to give 110%.

I imagine after a great catastrophe, when society was being rebuilt, the only media that remained were sports broadcasts and reality shows. They just assumed that's how percentages worked.

Because I haven't done one of these in a while...

2007-05-02T04:46:00.000-04:00

Via Ragnell:

Thank you, Geoff Johns.

2007-04-26T04:59:00.000-04:00

For putting Pig-Pen in the new JSA.

The mysterious second assailant.

2007-04-18T05:02:00.000-04:00

After I pasted a timely link to the cover of Swing With Scooter #1 into an IM session with my disco-buddy, he pointed out the lower-right corner:

Kenny, huh? Short for Kenneth? And he seems to know an awful lot about frequencies.

Does this mean William Tager was a disturbed Swing With Scooter fan? (Not that I'm implying anything about fans of that work.) Or was Scooter himself the other assailant?

We may never know.

(Also worth noting, Joe Orlando, the artist on several Swing With Scooter issues, went on to edit the original Swamp Thing series at DC. Swamp Thing. Coincidence? I think not.)

In which I notice another thing.

2007-03-24T06:17:00.000-04:00

Comics fella Warren Ellis:

Musician Warren Ellis:

(See it in action.)

Conclusion: Every Warren Ellis will at some point sport a totally awesome beard.

Therefore: I am going to change my name.

In which I notice a thing.

2007-03-22T05:24:00.000-04:00

Get Fuzzy's Chubby Huggs:

is a family-friendly Bueno Excellente:

(Hey, 100th post! ~~While on hiatus, no less!~~)

Why I love comics, part 2.

2007-03-17T04:38:00.000-04:00

Swamp Thing #73, Veitch & Alcala

Could this be my last post ever?!?

2007-03-03T05:55:00.000-05:00

In case the hiatus wasn't obvious, it's official now.

I've been spending my time doing my best to emulate the great comic book artists of my generation.

That's right—I've been playing a lot of video games.

I'm sorry, that joke was facile and based on lies.

Wait, what's that?

Earl?

You wanted to say something?

Oh. Well, there you have it. Thanks, Earl.

(Edit: Okay, I've used up all the good games for now. Back to comics!)

The year-ish in review-ish.

2007-01-09T09:19:00.000-05:00

I see all sorts of people have been doing year-end wrap-ups with all kinds of crazy categories and whatnot. Well, I've been busy! That Rick Olney meltdown thread isn't going to read itself, you know!

In order to catch up, I got a few books out of the library and have read approximately the first quarter of each of them. With that knowledge under my belt, I can confidently hand out the following awards:

Most Awkward Book of the Year:

Premillennial Maakies: The First Five Years, by Tony Millionaire. At 12.25" by 4.75", this long, slender hardcover is the Bob Barker's Microphone of comic strip collections. I tried reading it in bed, and it made my elbows hurt. This book was also a shoo-in for the Most Unwieldy Book of the Year award before I realized that was redundant. Favorite strips so far: main strip, p. 34, mini-strip, p. 53. Look them up in your own copy!

Most Mental Book of the Year:

Abraxas and the Earthman, by Rick Veitch. I don't know if it's possible for mushrooms to drop acid, but if it were, this book is what it would be like if a peyote cactus ate those mushrooms and washed them down with a large bottle of Robotussin. Better than Star Trek IV!

Most Narrowly-Focused Comics-Related Publication of the Year:

Writing for Comics with Peter David, by Peter David. Ignoring Soulsearchers, David has only co-written 27 stories in his entire career, according to the GCD. Will one lucky reader of this book get to co-write number 28? I mean, the early parts are interesting, and I assume the parts about writing with Peter David come later, but that just doesn't seem like it would be very useful.

The Things I Get For My Birthday

2006-11-22T23:47:00.000-05:00

There was a card:

Anyone know whose Spidey that is? I'm inclined to guess Bagley because of the ass and because he's the only Spidey artist whose work I've actually read.

I thought the point of these puzzles was some sort of memory and observation test. But I guess it also works as a 'telling the difference between two things, both of which you can see' test.

Maybe I'm just not the intended audience.

Anyway, even better than that?

Goddamn Batman Chuck Taylors.

That was probably the best birthday present I've ever bought myself, even if I do have too many shoes.

Today's fantasy novel comics reference.

2006-11-05T17:15:00.000-05:00

Their banners flared and flapped, a pageant of color: red ox and golden mountain, purple unicorn and bantam rooster, brindled boar and badger, a silver ferret and a juggler in motley, stars and sunbursts, peacock and panther, chevron and dagger, black hood and blue beetle and green arrow.

-- A Clash of Kings, p. 417, George R. R. Martin

Two Panels.

2006-11-02T06:05:00.000-05:00

In which I fall in love with Joe Casey (or possibly Brian Holguin):

(from Mr. Majestic)

It's too bad that's out of print.

In addition to the overall excellence and the similarities to Casey's Wildcats, it also made me much more anxious to read Gødland*.

* A Gødland bit my sister...

Hey Freddy...

2006-10-28T06:37:00.000-04:00

Which upcoming Marvel MAX comic book about a mutant character created by Warren Ellis are you most looking forward to?

Why does Superman hate America?

2006-10-20T04:38:00.000-04:00

Shame on you, The CW!

As I watched last night's Smallville, I was glad to see that the liberal, bed-wetting pansy of a "superhero" known as the Green Arrow was finally being portrayed correctly, which is to say, as a villain.

His stealing from the super-rich to give to charities, I thought, was a fine allegory for the crushing tax burden the super-rich must endure, only to have those monies be used for foolish things like "social programs" and "roads."

Though Clark Kent initially fought this foul brigand, he eventually came to sympathize with the filthy communist!

Do the writers of this show forget the great Revolutionary War-era slogan, "No taxation [...]"?

Surely the letters CW must stand for Civil War, because that's what their perpetuation of these evil socialist ideas will surely lead to.

Also, Lex & Clark OTP 4eva! XD

An actual entry.

2006-09-20T19:19:00.000-04:00

Last night, I decided I wanted to spoil Civil War #4 for myself (if it's possible to spoil a book I don't read, that is). The first place I went was the YABS forum on CBR, where I thought I might find some discussion of it.

It was also the last place I looked, and I didn't even get to see any spoilers. Why? Because the J-Bolt thread has gone crazy-go-nuts!

Three months ago, which was about 3 months after I forgot all about it, activity resumed. Soon after, OMAR popped up to defend Mr. Bolt.

That went on for a while, as it tends to do.

Then...

After a month and a half of that...

J-BOLT APPEARS.

Sure, I spoiled it, but nobody was going to read all 90 pages anyway, right? I recommend it, though. My favorite part so far is his grim-'n'-gritty "don't get offended, PLEASE, LADIES!" pitch. (I'm only on 227—sorry, page 227—at the moment, so there might be further, even more awesome developments since then.)

_____

And of course I haven't neglected the library.

They got in volumes 4 and 5 of Cromartie High School, which made me squeal with delight. I also got the first 3 volumes of Yotsuba&!, which was all kinds of adorable and strange. I'm sure there's all sorts of Yotsuba's dad/Jumbo yaoi out there, but I have yet to look for it. For some reason.

They've been getting a lot of recent graphic novels too, like Deogratias, The Lost Colony, Can't Get No, and the much-anticipated Sloth. I enjoyed the latter two in a Donnie Darko way, by which I mean I liked them, but I'm pretty sure I need someone smarter than me to explain them. I also got Tony Millionaire's twisted and brilliant Billy Hazelnuts, which I read the first chapter of while walking home. Yet another reason I don't drive...

More lazy Flickr-blogging.

2006-09-17T04:21:00.000-04:00

SHAZAM!

Edit: While I'm at it, I bit into a piece of bone in a sausage yesterday. I would like the people who made that sausage to please cease and desist linking[...]. I do not need, nor want, your sausages.

(Why do all the greatest things on the comics blogohypercube always happen (or in this case, climax) in the Wednesday-to-Friday-ish period when I'm not reading anything?)

Sweden loves Jack Kirby

2006-09-14T00:44:00.000-04:00

No, I don't know who Svag is.

Re: The Events of Ultimate Spider-Man #99

2006-08-25T01:41:00.000-04:00

Dear Messrs. Bendis and Bagley,

MORE CLONECEST PLS!

IT = T3H H4WT

LIKE THIS:

K THX BYE

--Leigh

An interlude.

2006-08-07T00:46:00.000-04:00

I know this isn't comics-related, but I thought maybe one or two of the three of you might have played Magic at some point.

If so, do you know how to judge a card's grade? I imagine it's a lot like comics, and I just found my Mox Pearl while looking through my things:

(Click for full image.)

Anyone?

Dear Comics Blogocube:

2006-08-02T02:23:00.000-04:00

There is a supervillain named The Gambler.

He looks like Kenny Rogers.

Why did none of you tell me about this?

Return to the Library!

2006-06-12T05:29:00.000-04:00

Something startling has happened at the local library! It's so startling, in fact, that I need a few paragraphs of rambling narrative before I can work up the courage to even skirt the issue!

Having given up on Neal Stephenson's excessively Forrest Gumpish (but otherwise quite good if you can stomach that sort of thing for 2700 pages) Quicksilver (also, no Pietro), I went to the library to pick up a couple Charlie Stross novels (it would seem I'm something of a fan).

I looked at the "Young Adult" graphic novel/manga section, where I found Hope Larson's Gray Horses, Paul Sizer's Moped Army, and Linda Medley's Castle Waiting.[1]

But I've also checked out non-Young Adult graphic novels from there. Because I wanted to check the New Books shelves for any of those, I looked on the computer to find which Dewey Decimal number they're filed under. I searched for Jimmy Corrigan, which I knew they had in the stacks. Instead of the 741.5 W I would have once seen, a mysterious new pair of words appeared:

GRAPHIC WARE

Yes, my library now has a regular graphic novel section.

After walking around for about five minutes, I noticed a collection of strangely shaped books in the third least obscure corner (of eight, spanning two floors) in the stacks, immediately to the right of the Science Fiction Zs. I painstakingly endeavored to count the books in that section, that I might present the glorious figure to you, my readers. The number nine is considered glorious in certain numerological systems, right? Comic strip collections are still unfortunately hidden among the 741.5s.

Far more interesting than that, however, was that Chester Brown's Louis Riel: A Comic-Strip Biography is now shelved under B RIEL, which means it's in the Biographies section. That might make it a bit harder for me to find any future comic book-style biographies that aren't heavily blogged about, but at least the thousands of people looking to read about crazy Canadians[2] and unable to search the catalog by computer will find that one.

______
[1] One feature this section seems to share with that other library's graphic novel section is a lack of a "New Books" division. Recently acquired graphic novels (like those three) go straight to their own section rather than languishing on the New Books shelves for a year like all other books in both libraries.

[2] I'm only kidding! There's no such thing as mental illness, apparently. Canadians, also.

Super-sekrit comic link of the day.

Big Brother tasks explained.

2006-06-09T03:48:00.000-04:00

(The Walking Dead #28)

Left on their own, I wonder how long it would take the housemates to come up with a similar game.

Minus the zombies.

Maybe.

Some people...

2006-05-24T05:19:00.000-04:00

Jeez, I forget to scroll down for a while, and I miss a couple comments on my Civil War entry. The first (of the two) was from Carla of snap judgments, which I added to my links thing[1] (and I even fit it into the OCD name-length order on the first try!). The second was from some chav scum who ranted for 3 or 4 screen-lengths (much more seriously than my original post) about how I'm stupid for noticing things, I guess. The UK, our love affair is over! Well, as soon as Big Brother ends. Unless QI is back on by then.

Anyway, I finished that giant stack of graphic novels a while back, and I thought it would only be fair to you, my reader, if I offered some facile, malformed opinions on some of them.

Black Hole: Makes Johnny Ryan's Brown Hole much funnier. I totally understand what it's a parody of now!

Selina's Big Score: Not as self-contained as I would have expected—it seems to want me to have read Cooke's Catwoman run in order to understand the characters' relationships. Still, loads of fun and beautifully drawn.

Pyongyang: I love Delisle's cartooning style. It sort of reminds me of a decaffeinated Ted Rall. A very funny and strange book. Made me want to walk backwards.

Wimbledon Green: Would calling this "a rollicking good time" be corny? Because it really is. It rollicks.

American Elf: The best of the lot. Alternately funny, feline, moving, and pee-soaked. Sometimes a combination of up to three of the above. Definitely a contender for the best comic featuring elf-cock that I've read this year. I'd still like to read the missing strip, though.

_____
[1] I don't click through other people's blogrolls as often as I probably should, which means I usually only look at the pages of people who comment, so I end up with links to blogs that update even less frequently than mine over there. Sorry.

ZOMG Breaking News!

2006-05-11T04:49:00.000-04:00

Writer Brian Lynch (Spider-Man Unlimited #1, Slyde Into Destiny) announces:

In September, IDW is coming out with a new mini series starring everyone's favorite character from ANGEL and BUFFY, Mr. William the Bloody himself, Spike.

Five issues, monthly, full color. Art by the insanely talented Franco Urro.

The writer of this mini-series is best known for writing and directing a movie for Kevin Smith about a decade ago, but who has also dabbled in writing the adventures of a talking blue monkey and the occasional naked dude.

SPIKE: ASYLUM is coming.

He's a funny dude. I'm looking forward to this more than I've ever looked forward to a Buffy-related comic. I didn't mean that to be as backhanded as it came off. I loved his Spider-Man Unlimited story, and I think he'll do a great job with this.

Here, have an interview.

I don't need no Civil War

2006-05-07T23:45:00.000-04:00

Would it be excessively nitpicky to point out that there are no white center lines on streets in CT[1]?

Or that Stamford has 12 elementary schools, and of course none of them are called Stamford Elementary?

Or that Stamford doesn't have any sort of grid layout anywhere in the city, especially in the residential areas? And that it's obvious from Google Maps?

Or that Stamford is 25 miles away from NYC? And cars and public transit and photographs exist?

Or that made-up towns like Manchester AL or Fairport CT don't have these problems?

It would? Then I guess I won't mention those things.

But it would have been nice if someone at Marvel had read the New Warriors mini and noticed that Microbe probably shouldn't be talking like Ultimate Peter Parker.

Other than that, I completely agree with Graeme's review.
_____
[1] On residential roads, solid white lines are only used as edge lines.

Insert 'package' pun here.

2006-04-27T18:17:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, Tom Tomorrow blogged about the latest plagiarism scandal and book packaging companies. Today, he linked to a Times article on the subject.

From the second page (emphasis mine):

Packagers have been around for decades, dating at least as far back as the Stratemeyer Syndicate, creators of the Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys mystery series. Today, packagers work not just in the teenage market, but on all kinds of titles, from illustrated coffee-table books and toddler series to self-help tomes and graphic novels.

I can't even begin to guess which graphic novels could have been "packaged" like Nancy Drew or Sweet Valley High books. Is there some parallel comics market that I'm completely unaware of? Could they be referring to some manga titles? The upcoming Dark Tower books from Marvel (which have some similarities to that method, I gotta say)? Any American comics that have editors? Do any of you smart people know what they mean?

I'm not dead yet.

2006-04-25T22:44:00.000-04:00

Just as I've nearly finished with my massive pile of books, Johnny Ryan's brilliant Shouldn't You Be Working? parody strips have been removed from his site pending publication. I was hoping to link to the Epileptic and Persepolis strips, if I could remember enough about what I've read to make some sort of attempt at an entry.

I've been listening to the Kings of Leon a lot, thanks to my obsession with British TV. Their second album was mentioned in the last episode of The Mighty Boosh, so I had to get it. It's no My Humps, sure, but it's quite good nonetheless.

I've also been watching Nathan Barley, Big Train, Garth Marenghi's Darkplace, Boys Will Be Girls, It's Not Easy Being Green, and what may be the best, most enjoyable series I've ever watched, QI [1]. I've grinned and laughed through the first 26 episodes, pausing only to wonder what's up with all the racism.

Soon I'll finish watching these things and have more time for comics. Or I'll continue to look for episodes of '80s TV series in which John Cameron Mitchell [2] appeared, that I might marvel over how little he's aged in the past 20 years.

Finally, for you filthy Americans, Target apparently considers Starburst jelly beans to be Easter candy and has marked them 90% off. That's 16 cents per bag. Take advantage of this if you want. Or tell me how disgusting they are so I can ignore any opinion you might have in the future.
_________
[1] Bill Bailey is a frequent guest, and he of course played Bilbo, the owner of the comic shop, on Spaced. Nyah.

[2] Sook-Yin Lee is in Hedwig and the Angry Inch and Mitchell's upcoming Shortbus. She had a "thing" with Chester Brown. I can bring anything back to comics.

Overheard in New Dork

2006-04-18T02:38:00.000-04:00

Comic Shop Guy (talking to another customer): There were three, and Impulse, sort of. He never took the Flash name.
My Brain: Well, he took a Flash name. I mean, it was his last name. He'd be Mr. Flash as sure as Marvin Lee Aday is Mr. Loaf now. I should go remind him that— Hey, knock that shit off! Find your happy place! It's over there in the Fantagraphics section, under A.
My Wallet: *whimper*

--Midtown Comics Grand Central

Comics can be educational!

2006-04-02T00:04:00.000-05:00

There's a comic-like thing about musicians that appears in my Sunday paper every week. I usually only look at it to laugh at the Greg {Horn,Land}-esque photoreferenced pictures of Will Smith or Paula Abdul, but this week's was somewhat more interesting:

(click to enlarge)

"Found dead," you say? That's it? "A different musical direction?" "More influential?"

I certainly learned a few things.

The bestest kitty in the whole wide world!

2006-04-01T04:43:00.000-05:00

Hello and welcome to my "blog"!

I'd like you to meet the cutest little fuzzy man in all the world, my precious little Elliot! (That's why it's The House of El! El is short for Elliot! LOL!)

Here he is trying to fit in a box:

He's too big for the box! LOL! And he's winking at me! Isn't that the cutest?

I caught him napping!

I better not make him get up! I bet he'd be really mad!

Oh no! I made him mad!

Maybe if I vacuum a little, he'll feel better...

He hid under the sofa! ROFL! But at least he looks happy!

Thank you for looking at my "blog". I hope we can chat again!

Box Office Pain

2006-03-23T03:13:00.000-05:00

Reading Box Office Poison, I kept noticing little things, like someone's chin or neck, or a particular pose, that reminded me of another cartoonist's work that I love.

About halfway through, I noticed a character with the surname Kreider. I flipped to the list of Robinson's cartooning friends to whom he expressed gratitude, and sure enough, Tim Kreider was listed.

Later in the book, one of the overlapping speech balloons in the party scene contains the title of Kreider's comic, "The Pain -- When Will It End?"

Do yourself a favor and read the entire archives.

Of particular interest to you superhero-types are The League of Indecency and More Superheroes Nobody Wants to See.

And by far the most useful one for my own life, Our New Line of Greeting Cards.

But seriously, read them all. And buy his books. So I command!

I cheated.

2006-03-17T20:07:00.000-05:00

I read Nausicaä while waiting for advice, since I knew nobody would tell me that I simply must read it seventh. I spotted a couple things that made me giggle like a moron.

Kurotowa is introduced and tells Princess Kushana about the state of the battles on the main front, including the armies of the Dorok principalities:

Haha. Dorks.

Later, Kurotowa explores a lost city beneath Pejitei, where he finds...

A pop culture reference, 22 years early! Damn, Miyazaki's good.

And so I can have some Western comics content: If you don't like John McCrea, you don't like comics. I'm just sayin'.

Attention Dorkwads!

2006-03-16T02:33:00.000-05:00

I got these 20 books out of the library today, and I need your help:

David B., Epileptic (which I've already read the first half of, but I think there might be new stuff in those parts in this edition)
Chester Brown, I Never Liked You
Charles Burns, Black Hole
Darwyn Cooke, Selina's Big Score
Guy Delisle, Pyongyang
Will Eisner, The Contract with God Trilogy (of which I've read the first book)
James Kochalka, American Elf
Jeanne Martinet (and the original artists), Truer Than True Romance
Hayao Miyazaki, Nausicaa Of The Valley Of The Wind
Jim Ottaviani & Big Time Attic, Bone Sharps, Cowboys, and Thunder Lizards
Alex Robinson, Box Office Poison and Tricked
Marjane Satrapi, Persepolis, Persepolis 2, and Embroideries
Seth, Clyde Fans Book One, Wimbledon Green, and It's a Good Life, If You Don't Weaken
Bryan Talbot, The Tale of One Bad Rat
Bill Willingham (& various artists), The Sandman Presents: Taller Tales

They're due in three weeks (though I can renew them online if there are no holds). Where the hell do I start? Where the hell do I keep them? What the hell was I thinking?

I'm still in the middle of a novel and a David Foster Wallace short story collection, too.

Inspiration strikes!

2006-03-11T02:44:00.000-05:00

During my nightly jaunt 'round the blogodome, I came across Mike's latest entry.

One quotation in particular struck my fancy:

"no it wouldnt...stupid thread...ur being stereotypical here.."

I thought, "What if Superman were an illiterate internet-thing?"

Dear Mr. Bendis,

2006-03-10T06:05:00.000-05:00

I wouldn't have minded an issue of Powers with only 26 story pages. Really.

I can only hope this is all leading up to a scene in which all the spoken-word people gather to tell each other how brilliant they are and get splattered by a meteor hurled from orbit by the superpowered team of Henry Rollins and Russell Simmons. If that happens, all will be forgiven.

Sincerely,

Leigh

PS: Thank you for giving the current issue's malcontent some dialogue that I can't possibly mock in ways that everyone who read the issue hasn't already thought of. It makes both our jobs easier.

PPS: Also, thank you for making Ultimate Spider-Man good again. Please never add terrible ranting loons to that book.

Not Safe For Work At All

2006-03-05T03:31:00.000-05:00

Back in August of last year, Kevin did post a wondrous post, introducing me (and I'm guessing, many others) to the world of Iceman. Be sure to heed the warning in that post and consider it to apply to this one (and the comments! (thanks, Spencer!)) too.

I've been looking back there occasionally, often with dismay at the number of things that have been removed. At least the Teen Titans and Robin/Clayface pictures are still there to amuse and horrify (respectively).

But sometimes, there's a new comic.

A new comic that shows us Blob's penis, Beast's anus, and Xavier's leadership. And let's not forget that Wolverine's cock has an elbow (click through to page 13 for that!).

I have to wonder whether Scott shaves, or if he just uses his optic blasts Superman-style.

Too lazy to Google.

2006-02-27T04:47:00.000-05:00

I would like to know two things:

When "No quarter asked, none given." was first used in a comic book.
When it was used a second time.

The first is forgivable. The second is not.

Comic book writers: Please never use this cliché or any of its variants, except in the broadest of parodies, or, I suppose, in reference to a mute, unsuccessful beggar.

Thank you.

Bonus link!

The reluctant comics-based Valentine.

2006-02-14T23:29:00.000-05:00

(click for slightly larger version)

This would have been timely if Blogger had let me publish it. Oh well.

Why I love comics.

2006-02-10T05:28:00.000-05:00

Sometimes, I'll read something—a story, a page, a single panel—and realize that an artist I've never met has tapped into a part of my life, rendering it for a worldwide audience.

Or as Roberta Flack sang,

I felt all flushed with fever, embarrassed by the crowd,
I felt he found my letters and read each one out loud.

Of course, one usually hopes that it wouldn't be as embarrassing as the page that spoke to me in Craig Thompson's Carnet De Voyage. This was my life from 1997 to 2002:

(Click to see the full page.)

I laughed until I stopped[1].

From the same book, here are some adorable porcupines:

______
[1] For further hilarity, see also: John Hodgman's The Areas of My Expertise. The list of 700 hobo names is of particular interest to those conversant in the nerdly arts.

Shock! Horror!

2006-02-08T23:54:00.000-05:00

I'm outraged, let me tell you.

Thanks to Mike's post last week, I was looking forward to tonight's Bones, only to find a disturbingly biased portrayal of comic readers.

While investigating the death of a teenager who dressed like a superhero, Bones and Angel come across a handful of elderly teenagers on the roof of a comic shop, also dressed vaguely as superheroes.

What about the dozens of us who hang out on the roof of Borders and pretend to travel though Europe or to North Korea, grow up in Iran, pee on our brothers, become involved in a pansexual love triangle, go to a school of badasses in Japan, live in a Bronx tenement, collect comic books, or wreak vengeance on an Irish mob family who betrayed us?

Shame on you, 20th Century Fox Television.

Just when I thought I was out...

2006-01-30T19:17:00.000-05:00

Always remember...

There's really no excuse for this sort of thing.

(The master list.)

Controversy!

2006-01-28T03:27:00.000-05:00

First, my mean-spirited, political Superman thing:

Second, for the people who complain that Nextwave doesn't treat Boom-Boom with the proper respect or that H.A.T.E. and the Beyond Corp couldn't possibly exist in the Marvel Universe or whatever: Always remember...

(Oh, how I love the Etheric Loop Recall Televocometer.)

Finally, and apropos of nothing, I don't think I'll ever be able to refer to the writer of A Complete Lowlife and Sleeper as anything other than Ed "Irn" Brubaker. This is a personal failing of mine, and I take full responsibility.

(The master list.)

Always remember... (#2)

2006-01-27T02:28:00.000-05:00

Does he even go to this school?

I was already planning it before Spencer said anything. And I'd already made it when Chris made his.

(Coming soon: I finally do that Superman thing I've been threatening since I got the Showcase book. Hilarity ensues.)

(The master list.)

Always remember...

2006-01-26T01:14:00.000-05:00

Late to the party, but I had to add to Dorian's list.

Thank you, Rich Johnston.

2006-01-24T18:40:00.000-05:00

When I read Ultimate Extinction #1, I had an intense feeling of déjà vu during the Ultimate Misty Knight part of the book.

The whole setup seemed very familiar, and when I saw the reveal of Ultimate Silver Surfer, I knew there would be a sniper in the same building as UMK. I knew she'd chase her down the stairs. I felt like I'd read the entire thing before, even though I knew there was no way I could have.

I was going to ask here if it seemed familiar to anyone else, but I didn't want to seem crazy.

In the latest Lying in the Gutters column, Rich Johnston links to Warren Ellis's End Times script and compares passages from it to the published Ultimate Extinction #1.

After I followed the link and read the introductory paragraph, I knew I'd read that script before. So it turns out I'm not crazy*. Thanks, Rich.

* Well, not because of that.

I hate myself.

2006-01-19T01:07:00.000-05:00

I had to listen to My Humps for the first time ever to do this. I hope it was worth the damage it did to my soul.

Well gee, Bob...

2006-01-12T02:03:00.000-05:00

(From JLA #124, written by Bob Harras.)

Whatever could he mean?

I'm looking forward to the response in a few months, when JMS awkwardly crams the word "Elseworlds" into Fantastic Four. Revenge!

It's been a while.

2006-01-08T00:53:00.000-05:00

But not as long as it's been since Spencer posted.

I finished Bizarro World last night, and even though Kevin just described it as such, I can't think of a better word than delightful. It improves greatly on Bizarro Comics, due in large part to the removal of the overlong framing story. With one notable exception (the Batman musical, but let's face it—even Alan Moore can't manage a 'musical' comic), I was grinning throughout the entire book. It was wonderfully arranged, too. I often found myself thinking, "Wow! Best one yet!" only to think the exact same thing for the next story. Let's go ahead and call that the Anthology of the Year.

And let's call that my yearly awards thing. Moving on...

After not going to the nearby Borders for a couple months, I went there a couple weeks ago to find that their manga section had doubled in size (still no Cromartie High School*, though they did have one copy of the first Antique Bakery), as had their single-issue last-month's-comics section. I went there again today and found a lot more, let's call them, real comics too. (Hmm. Wonder who that'll annoy.) They had Epileptic, Carnet De Voyage, a The Incal GN, many copies of the Runaways digests, the Showcase Presents collections of Superman and Green Lantern, and several other things I'd never seen there.

(I could never find those Showcase Presents books on Amazon—turns out including 'DC' in the search causes it to utterly fail. Also, the subsequent volumes are only $11.55 there. Not bad at all.)

I was so overwhelmed by those (and a $19 CD, which is ridiculous) that I had to retreat back to my home and request a bunch of (which is to say, three) interlibrary loans.

* Of which chapter 58 is the best so far. I ♥ that book. Manga of the Year!

Please to explain.

2005-12-24T17:21:00.000-05:00

Why doesn't Marvel own useyourvoice.org?

Does anyone know how far in advance Jenkins probably turned in his script for Generation M #1? Before September 19, maybe?

Weren't there some URLs used in Powers that ended up pointing to jinxworld.com? If so, why is that reasonable for Bendis to do, but not Marvel? Do they assume anyone reading Gen M visits their site regularly, so it's not worth it to spend the $7/year (or whatever) the domain would cost? Not even to keep someone else from using it to advertise their whatever the hell that is?

I'm so confused.

Also, I've added and removed some links over yonder (imagine that I'm pointing—please ignore my freakishly long fingers). I noticed I wasn't really reading a couple of those sites anymore, and I decided to start reading some others. I should probably bookmark them all so my use of my own blog as a 'portal' thing stops making it show up in those damnable sites-that-link-here lists.

More terrible ideas.

2005-12-24T03:29:00.000-05:00

First, I must point out that Tom Lehrer used to have Norman Osborn hair.

Second, I briefly considered making a fake cover for the theoretical Marvel comic, What If... Jesus Was a Lion?

But that would have been hard.

Instead, I present a special holiday message, straight from Danny Rand:

That's right, Danny. From all of me, to both of you, Merry Fistmas.

(Y'all can Google 'Zod bless us, everyone' on your own. I got nothin' to do with that. Oh, and I shamelessly stole that cover from comics.org.)

Remember your drunk relatives this Xmas.

2005-12-23T00:25:00.000-05:00

Some dude sent me this:

Be sure to check out the Story of Johnny Surge too.

You're probably all quite familiar with ep.tc already, so I continue to bring nothing to the table.

I finished Two Fisted Science, Dignifying Science, and Night Fisher. I liked them all, of course, because I like everything. Night Fisher is gorgeous, and it'll teach you how to tie a knot. The Birute Galdikas story (in Dignifying Science) with art by Anne Timmons is particularly beautiful and makes me wish comics companies would have more orangutan-based comics. Give Grodd a sidekick. Orville or something.

This isn't funny.

2005-12-15T18:15:00.000-05:00

(Sorry, Spencer.)

Little did I realize that my fun-sized mention of Blue World in my last entry would actually end up being relevant. The story Night Calls the Green Falcon (which, I forgot to explain, is about an old serial star putting on his costume one last time to catch a serial killer, told in a serial fashion) contains a number of comic references, in addition to being based on the serials of the '40s. From an interview with McCammon:

Q: We were talking earlier today about comic books. [Your story] "Night Calls the Green Falcon," which blew me away: was that influenced any by the comic series The Watchmen? Did you read The Watchmen?

A: No, I haven't read The Watchmen, but it is influenced by all the comics I used to read as a kid. And it's influenced by all of the serials that I used to go to when I was a kid, the Batman serials, Zorro---those were great.

That question's a bit weird and narrow, since the story doesn't seem to be influenced by Watchmen in any way (I mean, old guys in costumes are hardly unique). I'd like to know whether the character of Davy in the story was called The Watchman because of it, since McCammon could have heard of the book without having read it, but that's different.

Another character has a shaved head, except for a question mark of hair. He's called Ques.

There's also a motel owner who wears a Captain America shirt, and a "dancer" with the wonderful comic book-style name of Amazin' Gracie.

Some of the other stories are a bit disappointing so far, but I give Night Calls the Green Falcon a solid three-and-a-half hideously-colored recommendation units.

UPDATE: Turns out you can read it online. Way to go, internet.

Cromartie High School, meanwhile, is brilliantly, stupidly hilarious. It has everything: a gorilla, a robot, and Freddie. I give it 83 stars. (Stars omitted.)

My baffling library.

2005-12-09T20:12:00.000-05:00

I had to bring some books back to the library and pick up another one* today. Before I left, I searched the library's site to see if there was a Neil Gaiman book other than Anansi Boys that I hadn't read yet (I'm still not entirely sure I've read Smoke and Mirrors, but I think I might have). One of the results was Jill Thompson's The Dead Boy Detectives (I think Gaiman's listed as a consultant). What piqued my interest there wasn't that they had the book (good thing, too, since I ended up failing to find it), but rather that there must be a graphic novel section somewhere in the library that I'd never seen.

After trudging across the tundra (mile after mile) to the library, I found this wondrous new graphic novel section, among the young adult/teen books.

It was approximately half of a single shelf.

I'm hoping for their sake that it's because of high circulation of various manga titles (I know I've seen Nausicaa in their online catalog, and it wasn't there), but I doubt it.

Of the few books they had, there were a surprising number I just had to get. Everyone raves about Two Fisted Science, so I got that and Dignifying Science. Chris just wrote about Cromartie High School, which the library had the first three volumes of. I got the first one, and if I don't like it, I shall hold him personally responsible. Spencer read Night Fisher; soon I shall be cool like he is.

Just imagine how fascinating this would be if I'd actually read them! Maybe someday, dearest creepy-internet-friends. Maybe someday.

* I requested an interlibrary loan (ILL) of Robert McCammon's Blue World, which I knew was held by at least three ILL libraries in the state, about a month and a half ago. I got the notification that it had arrived last week. I got it today, and it's from Montgomery, Alabama. Efficient! Once I get my current pile read, I think I'll request Epileptic. Maybe they can borrow it from Guam.

Sorry.

2005-12-08T05:10:00.000-05:00

I have to say, fanboy explanations for that pronunciation are total bullshit. It's like that in the cartoon? Nobody cares. 'Ei' is always pronounced like 'eye?' No it fucking isn't, you weird bastards. I'm sure Senator Harry Reid would be surprised to learn that. So would I. Jack Kirby pronounced it that way? Well, that's more like it. Why couldn't you message board freaks be smart like Kevin? Then I wouldn't have misdirected my rage.

The unfortunate link-blogging.

2005-12-05T18:59:00.000-05:00

Apparently, some pictures from X-Men 3 (or X3, if you will) are out. The trailer is up now, too. What's up with Juggs', uh, juggs?

I'd like to be the first to point out that, thanks to House of M, certain Marvel comics are now 990 more. What does this mean for us, the consumers? I see big things in store for D-Man.

Finally (sorry, Kurt Busiek), Ted Rall wins.

Guess what I'm reading...

2005-11-29T22:43:00.000-05:00

The AFP reports:

TOKYO (AFP) - To the untrained ear monkeys of a certain species may all sound the same, but Japanese researchers have found that, like human beings, they actually have an accent depending on where they live.

Some of us already knew that.

Yes, I know he's actually an ape.

Stupid brain!

2005-11-21T23:22:00.000-05:00

This started out as a cute little thing about chocolate and porn and how it's my birthday and no one got me a Black Mercy or Krypton Rose. Then something went horribly wrong. I don't know what to say:

I just don't know.

Edit: Greatest birthday present ever! This apparently spoils some X-Men plotline or something. Thank you, Brian Cronin and Rich Johnston.

Not a rumor. No basis in reality.

2005-11-16T20:51:00.000-05:00

Warren Ellis likes Charlie Stross. So do I. When I was reading Iron Sunrise, I says to myself, I says, "This guy should write comics."

Here, get a look at him. That'll come in handy in a minute.

Now, a couple months later, I'm reading The Atrocity Archives. One of the stories in it won a Hugo this year, as seen in this photo.

Well, how about that. He no longer has hair.

And what do people without hair do? They write some goddamn comic books.

Try to understand...

2005-11-15T18:17:00.000-05:00

Looks like Grant Morrison wasn't the only one to predict Infinite Crisis:

(from Alan Moore's Tomorrow Stories #2, from Nov. '99)

Another bad idea.

2005-11-07T00:08:00.000-05:00

I was going to write the lyrics too, but I stupidly checked to see if anyone had already done such a thing. It turns out someone did, and it's not very good (in that it completely falls apart after the first four lines), but I'm unable to come up with a better opening line than he did.

Also, I didn't want to listen to the song 700 times to get the rhythm right.

Feel free to filk up the comments if you want.

Edit: Aw, why the hell not? Even if this is horrible, my opening line's different, at least.

Swimming in a dark trench
Talking to tube worms on a steam vent

Starro didn't decompose
Grew another body; made more foes
Hey Aquaman

Junior is his dead son
Watched as Manta ended all his fun
Hey Aquaman

Namor likes to run amok
Orin doesn't flip out like that schmuck
Oh Aquaman

Fish mind-controlled
Mera's his one and only
Fighting crime
The only way he knows
Hook for a hand
Or sometimes it's made of water
He brings down fishy slaught
-er, no retreat

He's not alone
Tempest, his eyes they glowed
And they made things explode
So easily
Aquaman my friend
Don't you let them say you're cheesy
You talk to scrod, but gee, you rule the sea.

Do you still remember
How you made Züm's brain seize
Basal ganglia
In his Martian brain were
Just like parts piscine
And you never caused Max Lord's death
Or fought demented clowns
Swimming powers zoom like
Flash's running thing

[Followed by lots of repetition. Maybe some flute.]

It's a sickness.

2005-11-06T03:51:00.000-05:00

Blame Chris.

(After poaching from him for three posts in a row, I'll try to give it a rest now. But what will I do with my life?)

My contribution.

2005-11-04T01:47:00.000-05:00

Yes, I went there, Al Hartley.

See Chris's post for the 'splainin'.

Blogcest Take 2!

2005-10-31T02:10:00.000-05:00

Chris just had to go and mention Adventures of Superman #549.

In that issue, aside from the Dingbats/Newsboy Legion/Green Team plotline, Boss Moxie has Torcher send a message to Lois Lane by setting fire to her apartment building. Lori Lemaris drops by just as it starts, and as she and Lois (and of course, Electric Blue Superman) lead the evacuation, she checks on another tenant's apartment, saying:

Click on that to see what my brain compelled me to do.

Just when I thought I was out...

2005-10-28T20:15:00.000-04:00

I blame my library for carrying 300 in the first place.

Well I didn't know.

2005-10-28T07:20:00.000-04:00

George Takei in cooler than Anderson Cooper shocker! (via)

I may have heard rumors at some point, but my memory ain't so good.

Star Trek VI has always (well, since it came out (fnur fnur)) been my favorite of the Star Trek movies, and part of that was seeing Sulu as a Captain.

Mr. Takei, I say to you: Excelsior!

ViGaBlah

2005-10-27T01:32:00.000-04:00

I'm getting close to the end of X-Men Legends II, so I should be able to think of clever things again soon. I know I'm near the end because I just unlocked Iron Man, in a sequence that included the following conversation:

Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony Stark: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: It had something to do with a beautiful woman, didn't it?
Tony Stark: Oh yeah. And you know what - she was almost worth getting caught for.

I'm not too well-versed in Iron Man's history, but I did a double-take at that. I think it should have gone a little more like this (some passages ripped off directly from Augusten Burroughs' Dry):

Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: He got you drunk?
Tony: No, it was a woman. I honestly have cut way back on the drinking.
Iceman: We found your armor. It smelled like a fucking distillery.
Tony: Is this about being late to that team-up yesterday?
Storm: We feel that it would be in your best interest for you to admit yourself into a treatment center.

Or maybe:

Sunfire: Iron Man, how did Apocalypse manage to capture someone like you?
Tony Stark: Let's just say a trap was set up using my only real weakness.
Sunfire: He punched your liver?
Tony Stark: Twice. Bastard.

Where am I?

2005-10-21T17:58:00.000-04:00

Playing X-Men Legends II, mostly. Wolvie says back off:

Haha. Because it's like a finger. Clever.

XML3 should include Kitty Pryde, Pete Wisdom, and an unlockable GTA-like mutant-humping mini-game.

And I've just grossed myself out.

Things like this make me wish I'd started reading postmodernbarney.com much earlier:

Steer him clear of Swamp Thing, for example. He'll have no idea who Alan Moore is and will only remember the terrible, terrible movies. Likewise, don't hand him Sandman. You're gay, not a goth. Don't hand him Preacher because he'll think you're a serial killer.

Though it has little to do with comics (other than maybe Warren Ellis' occasional use of urban legends), every now and then, someone will say something that makes me think of this, my favorite urban legend ever, and I'll start smiling for no reason:

These so called "chickens" are kept alive by tubes inserted into their bodies to pump blood and nutrients throughout their structure. They have no beaks, no feathers, and no feet. Their bone structure is dramatically shrunk to get more meat out of them.

They're sort of like mutants, right? X-Chickens! Here's where I'd normally find a picture of a chicken and edit it into the above picture, flipping the proverbial bird, but I couldn't find a good one, and I have a game to play.

Back in ages past...

2005-10-18T01:52:00.000-04:00

Though I already had some awareness of Ricky Jay, it wasn't until his appearances on Mythbusters and Deadwood that I really got interested in him. I've since read his Learned Pigs & Fireproof Women, Jay's Journal of Anomalies, Dice: Deception, Fate, and Rotten Luck, and (thanks to the internet) Cards As Weapons.

It's the last one that brings me to Peter David's Madrox #3. In this particular issue of that excellent miniseries, Madrox is handcuffed and locked in a supply closet. Because a copy would still have the handcuffs on (thus spawning the Jamie Madrox Handcuff Duplication Corporation), he has to escape by other means. Fortunately:

So he gets out of the handcuffs. Now, Ricky Jay isn't an escape artist, so I thought there must be some reason to mention him. After Madrox manages to spawn a copy on the other side of the door, he gets into an argument with the copy. The thug-guards down the hall, who had been playing cards, overhear them and come to investigate, one of them still holding the deck of cards:

That's where my brain went all, "Oh no he di-int!" The thugs hear Jamie still in the closet, and the one with the cards opens the door. Jamie knocks him down, knocking the cards free:

He catches a card:

And:

Fuck yeah!

Okay, he killed a guy, but he wasn't terribly thrilled about it, so he's not about to turn into The Punisher With Some Cards.

Thank you, Peter David, for your gentle stroking of my (if you will) Jay-Spot.

(The title of this entry was taken from the Crash Test Dummies' Sonnet 2 (And Back in Ages Past) which coincidentally enough also includes the line, "The brutal rampaged on their bloody way." Godspeed, fair Rampage.)

I'd buy three copies.

2005-10-14T04:52:00.000-04:00

The last one, for reals.

2005-10-14T01:57:00.000-04:00

Chris got to Catman before me, which leaves me with only one thing to do:

Seriously, I don't know. Here's hoping #3 brings us something new and exciting to run into the ground.

I barely get this.

2005-10-09T19:52:00.000-04:00

(I should really stop saying that I'd kill for various things. I'd probably only bruise or nick for them. I intended to title my last entry Blogcest, but I forgot that by the time I finished.)

Anyway, I made a thing:

And yes, I know it would make more sense for Batman to be Ortho.

I'd kill for a Volito.

2005-10-07T18:50:00.000-04:00

(With apologies to everyone involved.)

Spencer doesn't like the cover to Gotham Central 36.

Yeah, that's lame. Maybe a picture of Batman in some dead end alley with headlights on him, hiding behind his cape, ready to shot a Bat-Grappling Gun up to unknown gothic statue off panel while police look on. Or even better: have some people eating at a cafe, with one person pointing to the sky with their fork where you can see Batman swinging between buildings, saying "Isn't that the Batman?" while the other person replies with "Yes. Isn't he WANTED FOR MURDER?!?!" with that last part in some super actiony intense looking speech balloon. That would have been good.

Would it have? Let's find out!

I guess that's a yes.

The Greatest Burn in Comics

2005-10-04T22:43:00.000-04:00

So you've discorporated, and the girl you liked is dead.

You manage to coalesce into a more or less solid form again, and you learn of her death.

You dig up her body and carry her around for a while, until you meet up with the Phoenix.

She gets brought back to life:

She realizes you're the one responsible, but because you're gross, she decides to drop dead rather than go on living:

Oh, and her sisters call you a dorkus.

This is why X-Men: Phoenix - Endsong #5 contains the greatest burn to ever appear in comics.

On my lack of focus.

2005-10-03T21:56:00.000-04:00

Typo Lad has stupid comic panels. Scott and the Suspension of Disbelief people know about actual things and apply that knowledge to comics. Dave has a totally Airwolf collection. Kevin has photo-comics, Genius Covers Sundays, the occasional comics remix, and The Thing That Was Once Known As Shit That's Killing Comics. Comics Should Be Good has a sort of Polyphonic Spree thing going for it.

I have a bunch of random crap that's either tedious or trying to be funny.

I enjoyed making my comics premix (which was for a photoshop thing on another site, so it's hardly original), but that sort of thing is an awful lot like Kyle's movie poster reviews, and Kevin's done a couple of premixes as well. Interior page remixes are usually more fun, anyway.

I've also done the occasional insupportable hypothesis (or four) and hardcore geekstatporn, but those are hard to come by, and they kind of make me hate myself.

The name of this page came from my juvenile giggling over Wanda's universe-altering (and comic-narrating) vagina, but that series has stalled out, and I haven't seen anything else like that Donna Troy page since.

So until I think of something better, I remain unfocused, existing solely to amuse myself. And to give me something to stick in the URL space when commenting on others' blogs.

Dream a Little Dream

2005-09-29T23:13:00.000-04:00

A couple days ago, I had a dream.

The only thing I remember about it is that at one point I was trying to decide whether to call John Byrne 'John' or 'Mr. Byrne.' I'm pretty sure I decided on 'Mr. Byrne.'

For the sake of my sanity, I choose to believe I was telling him how much I liked Alpha Flight.

What's the deal with...

2005-09-26T21:49:00.000-04:00

... Graphic Novel back-cover blurbs?

It seems like they're often written by people who might have heard a few things about the books from a friend who flipped through a copy once. Here are some examples from a couple books I liked (mostly for the art, granted), and an example of the right way to do it.

From Neil Gaiman and Dave McKean's Mr. Punch:

In his grandfather's failing seaside arcade, a young boy encounters a mysterious Punch and Judy Man with a dark past, and a woman who makes her living playing a mermaid.

Well, he does encounter those people, though I don't know how mysterious the Punch and Judy Man was, nor whether he had a dark past (maybe I slept through those pages).

As their lives intertwine and their stories unfold, the boy is forced to confront family secrets, strange puppets and a nightmarish world of violence and betrayal, in a fable of childhood innocence and adult pain.

Do their lives really intertwine? The boy observes their lives and their stories, and he's certainly affected by them, but did he really have that much involvement with or effect on any of the other characters? I'd say my life is more intertwined with my local reference librarian than the boy's was with them. And does he even confront family secrets, let alone be forced to do so? At least there are actually strange puppets, violence, and betrayal.

Then there's Jon J Muth's Swamp Thing: Roots:

One tree, whose twisted roots snare a cold evil that coils itself around a small town...

Snare a cold evil? Check. Coils itself around a small town? Not in the book I read, unless the town was so small it only had a population of 12-15.

One woman who's fleeing with her children from an abusive husband...

Or more accurately, a woman who has fled with her children from an abusive husband. '[Is] fleeing' implies pursuit.

And one man, seeking salvation, moves beyond flesh and blood and emerges from the murky depths of the Wabash River as...the Swamp Thing?

This compelling story of small-town terror and one Earth elementals quest for deliverance is written and painted by Eisner Award-winner Jon J Muth.

Okay, that part is true. The guy (with the initials A.H.) turns into Swamp Thing in the book called Swamp Thing. He damn well better.

Finally, look at the blurb from Howard Cruse's Stuck Rubber Baby:

Art and story combine powerfully in this lyrical tale of a young man caught in the maelstrom of the civil rights movement and the entrenched homophobia of small-town America. Toland Polk, the son of an uneducated white carpenter, has grown up in the Southern town of Clayfield. It is the 1960s, a time of passionate beliefs and violent emotions, and Clayfield's citizens are divided in the fight over segregation. As Toland fights on the side of the civil rights activists, he slowly begins to realize that he also has a more personal battle—to accept that he is gay.

That whole thing accurately describes the book. It's almost like the person who wrote that actually read it.

But looking at the description on Amazon, I saw this line:

As Toland fights on the side of the civil rights activists, he slowly begins to realize and try to deny that he is gay.

Well, no. That's not what happens. He already realized he was gay, and he was trying not to be. The other description is the right one.

Is it really that hard to describe the plot—not the story or theme, just the plot—of a book accurately? Hundreds of bloggers manage it every week, somehow. It doesn't really seem to be open to that much interpretation in most cases.

I wish I could say this is the last one.

2005-09-23T03:35:00.000-04:00

(Yeah, the panel at the bottom of that page might have been better, but the words didn't fit in the balloons as well.)

The Latest Thing

2005-09-21T01:43:00.000-04:00

Kevin started it.

International Read Like a Pirate Day

2005-09-19T18:43:00.000-04:00

Or, "Who Link-blogs the Link-bloggers?"

Ampersand discusses the pirate comic in Watchmen:

[...] Veidt explains that he's been dreaming of "swimming towards a hideous…." This is a reference to the only other image of swimming in Watchmen; the protagonist of the pirate comic swimming towards the hideous pirate ship after murdering his own family and townsfolk. Veidt, like the main character in the pirate comic, is the destruction he fears.

Scurvy Dogs is a humorous take on a group of pirates living in the modern world. I thought the first two issues were much stronger than the later three, mostly because I'm a sucker for a good Monkees joke. It's currently on hiatus.

Rick Remender, Kieron Dwyer, and Salgood Sam's Sea of Red is one of those vampire pirate stories that are all the rage now. Issue 5 is scheduled to ship on the 28th.

Ed Brubaker and Sean Phillips' Black Sails, another vampire pirate story, exists in some sort of comics limbo. I don't know whether to continue looking forward to it.

For older pirate comics, see J. Larry Voyer's pirate-themed comics pages.

Scott has a good list of comic pirates over at Polite Dissent.

If pirates really are the new monkeys, where are all the vampire monkey comics we should have seen a few years ago?

In which I talk about comics before reading them.

2005-09-14T20:38:00.000-04:00

JUL050211 ACTION COMICS #831 $2.50

Peter Dinklage would be a great Dr. Psycho. I hope the ever-changing face of Black Adam (whom I adore) isn't too distracting in this issue.

JUL050282 DESOLATION JONES #3 (MR) $2.99
JUL050300 FABLES #41 (MR) $2.75

Wow, that was the best ever! What an amazing issue of [whichever]! I love [insert title here] more with every new installment.

JUL050238 JSA #77 $2.50

Well, a couple members of the JSA seem to be in it.

JUL050247 RANN THANAGAR WAR #5 (OF 6) $2.50

Wow, baffling. Remember how good the Adam Strange series was? Me too.

JUL050276 WILDCATS NEMESIS #1 (OF 9) $2.99

Oh, Robbie... Why?

JUL051872 MARVEL KNIGHTS 4 #22 $2.99

Straczynski? Fuck that shit. Roberto Aquirre-Sacasa!

JUL051851 MUTOPIA X #3 (OF 5) $2.99

I suppose if Ismael were a mutant, Wanda would have made him less of a massive screw-up. Poor guy.

JUL051863 TOXIN #6 (OF 6) $2.99

This is, hands down (or off), the best symbiote story ever. That I've read.

JUL051859 ULTIMATE X-MEN #63 $2.50

That Brian K Vaughan sure writes a good team book or two.

Seven Soldiers: Guardian #4

2005-09-09T04:23:00.000-04:00

[Insert inappropriate sexual analogy regarding how much this series pleases me here.]

Having read the translations (via) of the Sheeda dialogue in Shining Knight #4, I decided to try my hand at the single line in this issue.

Using one Ogham alphabet, I ended up with Muin Muin Muin, Luis Eadhadh Ailm Fern Beith. Mmm, leafb? Well, I figured the last one could maybe be an Uilleann, which, as long as I'm making things up, might be a Y. Leafy is a word.

Then I looked on Barbelith and saw that I was way off. Once I finally Googled 'ogham roman alphabet' and found a page with Ogham's Roman equivalents, I was able to work back from the new transliteration, and I noticed that I'd been looking at the original alphabet page the wrong way. I thought the characters had been rotated counter-clockwise from the vertical, when they were actually rotated clockwise, meaning the Luis was actually a Dair, the Fern was a Tinne, and the Beith was really an Uath, or Huath.

If I had paid closer attention to the original translation while looking at the alphabet, I would have caught my mistake much sooner. But that would have deprived me of wondering what, exactly, was 'leafy' about what was happening.

Fuck Canada

2005-09-07T22:51:00.000-04:00

There, I said it.

I want to get stoned, marry a dude, and get comics on the Wednesday after an American holiday.

Now that's freedom.

Meanwhile, I'm finally getting into Powers. The dialogue was a bit infuriating at the beginning, but it's getting much easier to deal with as I get further in. The Warren Ellis issue and the Coloring/Activity book are definite highlights so far.

Here, read some Lulu Eightball.

Comics Pre-mix

2005-09-02T22:57:00.000-04:00

It's like a remix, except the comic's not out yet.

Blood of the Demon #9:

Demon-style word balloons are no fun to draw in manually.

One for the Rampagers

2005-09-01T18:41:00.000-04:00

This appeared in Impulse #16:

"save one, read one, and give some poor unlucky soul a copy."

Huh. So close.

(And I see that switching to HaloScan has erased or hidden all three of the previous comments I've received (that's total, of course). Sorry, Spencer.)

I'm no Suspension of Disbelief.

2005-08-31T05:41:00.000-04:00

But I love this.

From The Flash #135 (by Grant Morrison and Mark Millar):

Indeed.

(Edited to add: I could understand something like that as a fictional, alternate 22nd or higher amendment, if for some reason it wouldn't be covered by the Fourth. But using the Twelfth is just odd, even if it does have a certain mad, made-up charm to it.)